My mother (may she rest in peace) started talking to me about financial independence when I was entering high school.  When I look back now, it seems that was a central (although not overly preached) theme she had for me for the next 15 or 20 years.  I suppose it’s because of what my concept of financial independece was during those last 5 or 10 years, that she continued her nurturing, that my memory of it now is what it’s been - until today.    

Until today, I thought of financial independence the way I believe most of us think of it.  I believe most of us think of it as a mostly gender-neutral issue.  I also believe that we may tend to think of it in far more lofty terms than my mom did during the very insightful and nuturing conversations we used to have, especially early on. 

The later conversations were more respectful debates on whether such a goal was an impossible dream.  At best, I came to believe, it was more of a lofty goal to strive toward.  At worst, it should lead to a more comfortable existence than not striving for it at all.

Now I see that Mom and I were talking about two different things when we used the word financial independence.  Mom came from a different generation, living in a different time.  When I finally heard the word in a different context, it meant building enough wealth to be able to work by choice rather than by necessity.  I now believe that Mom’s idea for me was financial independence in marriage or, if need be, out of marriage. 

The “blend” of the two ideas of financial independence is what finally settled, but only after I’d lost it.  My financial independence by my mom’s definition was achieved.  I earned a good and solid education.  I landed some good, respectible, and challenging jobs.  All that time, I continued to strive for what I conceived as financial indendence without realizing I’d already achieved it my mother’s standards.

Now another 10 or 20 years have passed and I am only now realizing that.  Now that I feel so battered by trying to achieve both, I seem incapable of achieving either one.  There are solid reasons for this that I don’t believe that either my mother or I ever envisioned.  A spinal cord injury can put a damper on anyone’s concept of financial independence.

I’m not complaining, really, or at least not too much.  I am thankful that the injury was not a “through-and-through,” meaning that I’ve been able to regain my ability to walk.  I have to keep at it, though, or that ability begins to deteriorate.  There is a lot of neuropathic pain that varies with no apparent correlation to anything.  I try my best to ignore it and I enjoy the days that aren’t so bad. 

So, what is another definition of financial independence?

One definition might have included a happy time of liesure with a steady and comfortable income, fruits of earlier labors.  That definition isn’t exactly working right now, nor was it what I think Mom exactly had in mind for her definition of financial independence.

The other definition included my getting an education and learning a marketable skill so that I’m not financially dependent on someone else to support me.  I’m quite sure that’s what Mom really meant and that was going relatively fine until the spinal cord injury.  So, now what?

Financial “independence” for now?  I’m fortunate enough to have worked for an employer with long-term disability insurance and an extremely reasonable pension formula.  Hubby works hard and he recently got a promotion, so life could be so, so, SO much worse.  I’m walking!  The bills are being paid!

Is this financial indepence in anyone’s sense of the word?  I would really much rather be working.